[] love dilution []

ok, so its like 85 friggin' degrees in my house tonight...i've gotten kinda used to the heat i suppose...a friend came over during the day and we were mapping out our road trip to LA and she mentioned how hot it was in my house, hmm, the heat didn't bother me then but it does now.

anyway, i really write because i've been inspired by a friend and
his life/voice/beard/stories. otherwise:
i forgot about blogs
i forgot i have a story to tell
i also forgot i had started this one two years ago. its started out as "adie adieu...farewell old self..." this could not be anymore true of the past two years of life:

• i've grown up by learning from both mistakes and right turns
  
• i've lived and loved more than ever
• i've had my heart rear-ended a couple of times... and fully recovered
• i've actually gone to the gym 5 day a week for the past month, and really loving it!
• i've been given the elbow room to grow to become more me

the difference from the past years has got to be (without any doubt) my conversations with Jesus, both frequency and sincerity...i have always loved God but i struggle with the fear of over spiritualizing everything but somehow wanting him within all the convoluted details of my life...i don't even know where i came up with the idea that God's love and favor should be kept on the shelf for a rainy day, a big decision, or otherwise worthy ordeal. i guess i want to be close to a God thats there on the sunny days too...