[] bikes and beignets []

A little road trip this spring brought us through my new favorite city, New Orleans (well, second to Los Angeles, of course).  I quickly fell in love with the dense culture and amazing visuals.  Its like you can smell the culture in the air. Canal Street with its 50 foot tall palm trees lining the streets in front of buildings infused with a Creole-European architecture was a regal way to enter the city. A strong eclectic bike community and the wash of a punk scene was a complete surprise.  But I had some work to do, I needed to make new memories of this place.  Everything I knew about New Orleans has been gathered from my parents dated, grainy Mardi Gras footage from the 1970's.  Needless to say, there were many things in those videos that I didn't want to see, but being there in the city myself was nothing short of amazing.  The bogginess of the air forces you to slow down.  The unevenness of the sidewalks shifts your mind down a gear or two, all the while people are moving in and out of the streets like ants. Living in a city with millions of people I really miss, and these city streets make me feel found again.  One of the best things I enjoyed that day was getting to walk around and observe the French Quarter residents and the very present biking community.  I'll be the first to admit that i am a little obsessed with bikes, and the bikes down there were completely different than what I'm used to seeing.  Different shapes, colors, and models totally fit into the niche they were chained to.  They were everywhere.  And the feeling of the freedom that comes with riding one, well, its there in a big way.

Ok, so my senses are on overdrive: people, bikes, architecture, culture, street music...what could possibly make this better? 
Cafe du Monde: A simple french cafe that has a huge following of coffee fans around the world.  And when I say simple, I mean simple.  The only thing on their menu is coffee and beingets.  My sister and I found the perfect combination of a decaf café au lait with an order of the "heaven on a plate" french doughnuts on our small marble table. A funny fact: In 1986, beignets became the official Louisiana state doughnut! The coffee here is also special, as its coffee-not espresso.  Its brewed really strong and dark and roasted with chicory to give it a flavor all its own.  At one time in history people had to think up a way to conserve their coffee supply, so they started experimenting with adding chicory to the roasts to stretch their supply.  Add milk to the brewed mixed, viola! The café au lait was born. 

The french-ness of this sidewalk cafe reminded me when my sister and I went to Paris when we were 17 years old.  The city was great, but I was really too young to really appreciate where I was at.  What i did appreciate was my sisters plan to prank other guests in the hotel, call them up and pretend to be the concierge of the hotel requesting what time they would want their wake up call.  The funniest part, we were with a group from high school and a few of our teachers were chaperoning us. Every morning they had something planned at the crack of dawn, so we figured if the entire group missed the bus, we could all sleep in.  Grace rang our teachers room " ahem, mademoiselle, this is the concierge Lief at the front desk. Vwould you like to shez-ule a vwake up call for ze morning?"...They totally fell for it.  We threw in a few "v"s and other unnecessary sounds to fake the perfect bad french accent. I will always remember those times and laugh...

But I've digressed: I love New Orleans.  This city will be on my places to come back to, perhaps to cheer on my friend in the February Marathon.  I'm also really glad I got to make my own memories here, where the culture is as thick as the air.  some naw'lins love...

[] glass social houses []

As I was waiting on my "sandwich artist" at Subway to make my veggie patty concoction, a little old couple pulled open the glass door and stood near me. They were probably in their 70's, retired and out traveling the world. They both had some old skool sweaters on that had probably seen the world with them. She wore a Estes Park, Colorado adorned with a blue bird-twig combo painted on the chest, while his was a bold font ALASKA with a wolf and snow background. Smiling and almost even giddy, they stated that they've "never ate here before" looking at me, the "sandwich artist" and each other. Every decision from what bread and cheese they would like, to the exact veggies they could tolerate was dependant upon the other persons decision. For instance, he wanted wheat, but when his wife chirped up and wanted something else, he simply smiled at her and stood quietly. She quickly recanted her bold decision to accommodate him, but then he insisted on what she wanted. I was totally enjoying watching them, but it was driving the workers and the people behind them crazy. They were oblivious. They didn't care. They were in love…let me explain:

Do you remember liking someone before Facebook or Myspace, or even texting? It was radically different. It was easier to comprehend why I was single, or why he didn't get a hold of me, or why he didn't show up, or why he didn't tell me he had a girlfriend because I only had my imagination to conjure up little excuses for him, or quaint little mental picture of me and him and nothing else in the world but us and well, who else is there?...it was easier to deal with because there wasn't any other way to be connected, other than the phone, really.
Now, when I know I share the same networking sites as him, that he has my cell number, knows my address, knows my work schedule and STILL doesn't call me, I cannot help but take it extremely personal. I think it's a natural desire to know what someone is into, who they are, what words they say to others, what photos they are taking, what they might say they do from day to day, what they find interesting, and how people converse with them, its all fascinating. But its like we live in glass social houses that people can dvr for their viewing pleasure. This natural desire has turned into a feeling of entitlement into someones world, which isn't healthy at all...

"but maybe he was at a market, buying me some wildflowers- knowing how much I hate roses- and on the way back to his car, trips over the curb and breaks his sweet little fingers causing him to be immobilized, maimed from any social networking for a few weeks..."

…but then trolling around his sites and blogs and tweets and underwear drawer (basically, right?) I see that he's not only socially networking his ass off, but he's apparently going out with cute-ish girls and having great fun with them leaving comments like "....had such a great time with you, see ya next friday"...knock, knock, knock- who's there??? heartbreak, sucker…

I assume the Estes Park-Alaska couple have never had their heads and hearts boggled by this whole networking fog. Their love that day was so endearing and simple. And they deserve it, they put in years of work to be there in front of me, looking like two giggly 12 year olds. I want something like that (but perhaps with a man that is way more independent with his sandwich choices.)

Seriously though, I want a love that is amazing and deserving of such dedication and work. I know my love is on the horizon and I wait patiently. Very patiently. (clears throat) Very very patiently for Gods extravagant love and amazingly detailed protection to be played out. And until then, I am in a great season of singlehood, preparing and cultivating my own heart to share with that someone as they search thier own horizions...

[] my good eye []

life is a circus. so my dog park and nature center mornings help me to be more of me...they are undoubtedly the absolute best.  they revive me and take me far enough from technology for me to relax and think. its wasn't easy after starting my own business to feel like i ever deserved such time to myself, but i've gotten over that for the most part.  my  first few steps are always prayed into with thanks for a healthy body, no aches and pains, no headaches, no heartaches, and from there i usually jump off into the vast expanse of questions and thoughts that are in my heart for God.  You have to do this...walk your sub-div when you get home, the sunsets will be amazing, i promise.  Ride your bike at 8pm on a saturday night, downtown. Or go feed the horses carrot sticks in the nearby field after work.  Take the time out of your day to be connected to the ground with your feet moving.  there is just something about it that causes your brain to really start sorting things away.

Today i woke up and my right eye was really sore.  i had too much to accomplish to even think about what it could be, soon i found myself at work with a more painful eye situation.  Since i work at the hospital, i just ran down to the ER where they told me that i have pink eye...what the what? pink eye or as one of my coworkers said "the dirty kid disease"? yes, conjunctivitis.  since the lab has a strict policy about it, they made me leave work, and I can return on Thursday.  My first thoughts were of how i got it and then my second thought was who have i given it to.  One friend thinks i got it from handling a dead animal, another a dirty microscope at work, while my mom is convinced its the high pollen count. whatever the case, i had the evening off.  I raced to get my script filled and then headed to the lake to catch the sun set. I wanted to leave my phone in the car, but there were some sketchy people way too interested in what i was doing, so it went with me.  I sat on the dock, squinting with my good eye, to watch all of the colors change and the clouds sway.  and it was good.

i am 100% of a few things in life. one of those are how being outside, in nature, is a reminder of Gods betrothment of peace and simpleness to me...hope you enjoyed the read

[] my social elixir []

Sooo many changes since the new year began and you heard from me last.  One of the more interesting things, I completely stopped drinking coffee and pop.  This may not sound interesting to you, but for me, a whole new perspective emerged.  To be honest, its really weird to be on "this side" of the coffee debate.  I drank for over 15 years the wonderfully, full bodied, deep, rich, smokey potion that my grandmother Susie introduced me to at a very young age.  This is where my social aspect of drinking coffee started.  Having the positive attention and time spent with the older people in my family was always a huge desire. Drinking coffee on the front porch with my grandma in mid-summer is one of my favorite memories.  She had a great front porch: a super green, always clean indoor/outdoor carpet, big overflowing planters of flowers and a perfect yellow porch swing.  I remember my sister grace and my favorite cousin erica fit on that swing with just enough wiggle room.  Each morning my grandma would brew a big batch of coffee so strong and hot, it tasted terrible to me as a kid but I was hooked already.  I would carefully follow her outside, spilling the molten lava all over the place, but quickly regaining composure if she were to turn around. The gold shag carpet hid the stains pretty well.  Making my way onto the porch, the perfect amount of shade, breeze, and company shared: I was hooked into the social aspect that coffee drinkers everywhere experience.
Let me me say that I never intended to give up on coffee.  How did it happen? I decided to do the Daniel Fast in January.  Brainstorming ways to start my new year off right, opposed to the typical new years resolution thing, the fast grew in my mind as something more than a promise to keep.  I did some research, but ended up just jumping in on a monday.  I'm no stranger to the whole vegan lifestyle, so the transition wasn't a huge shock, but there were many things different: the fast provides a 3 week period in your life to eat like someone in the Bible, Daniel.  He demonstrated that eating a diet rich in fruits, veggies, whole grains and water is very beneficial. So thats why I gave up coffee in the first place. The fast also provides during this 3 week period a time to really focus on God's heart for us.  I truly wanted this in a big way.  Just as if we start our day talking to God, thanking him for the certain people and things in our life, asking for straight-up wisdom and counsel, the day has a better focus.  If we then can start our year out with these things, wouldn't it make sense that our year has a better focus? I believe so.

Its been 2 full months without coffee.  I've gotten over the perception of it being my social elixir, I've gone through the detox process (don't roll your eyes, it was terrible) and I have emerged the same person only richer, more robust.  After all, I never wanted to be a different person, I wanted a personal experience that let me know I was on Gods radar, that He loved me and was looking into the details of my life. And He is. 

Friends, sit down, think deeply and follow the heart that He has given you...thanks for reading

[] Tarot Cards, Income Tax, and Palms Read[]

Madam Ruby the psychic says "You're here . . . because you want something"

"YES!" Pee-wee states in desperation. The absolute in his world would have to be that dang-o beloved Red Racer.  His first love has been stolen which forces him to scour the cities nooks and crannies, desperately leading him to be huddled around a crystal ball.  Madame Ruby convincingly tricks Pee-wee into thinking she really knows the whereabouts of his bike. She feeds Pee-wee what he needs to hear in order for her to get what she wants.

Life is so much like Pee-wee's Big Adventure sometimes.  We all have a "first love", something that we cannot take our mind off even if we tried.  Whether its a bike, a person, a faith, a drink, a thought...we all have been Pee-wee at some point of our lives. We will make the puzzle piece fit, even if its not the right peace, i mean piece.  We sometimes even know the truth, the reality, but until we find that puzzle piece that makes us satisfied, we just don't stop.  


I pulled a Pee-wee sometime ago.  It was with the idea of a boy.  A boy with a job, great hair, friends, jokes, ideas...all the things that could make you interested in someone. However, I saw what I wanted to see.  I thought it was kinda odd how he managed to bring me into his world, yet keep me at bay.  I heard what I wanted to hear.  In reality, I knew I would never fit into his trendy-jet setter world, but yet I tried.  He kept throwing me breadcrumbs, so I followed.  

Have you ever got your brains scrambled riding the teacups at the fair? Eventually, you get your wits back, but for a moment, everything is a blur.  That is how my Pee-wee moment went: Super excited, waited in line, its my turn (finally), get in, latch the door, and we're off! Spinning, oh this i fun, kinda, well, not this, wait, whats going on, can i stop this thing? wheres the exit, i hope i don't puke, okay okay, i'm feeling better, won't be doing that again.  


And I haven't, for the most part.  I've really really prayed for my heart to be protected, as the Lord knows I do a terrible job at it.  I did learn huge lessons like calling things what they really are.  I tend to be optimistic in the ideas of things and people, which is normally a great way to pursue life, but with relationships, its just to hairy-kairy.  My "first love" priorities were outta whack.  I needed God to be the center, the first, the alpha, the springboard for everything else to fall in line.  Life makes more sense when I allow it to flow that way. My brain makes more sense.  

So whats your "first love"? Is it scrambling your brains? Get off the ride and take a walk with a God that loves you and wants you to be truly happy.    

[] lets go grab some gears[]

I picked up one of my old dirty habit’s a couple of weeks ago: biking.

Being a body on a bike feels so free.  You can hear conversations, smell the first burn of a strangers cigarette, see minor details in things you’ve driven past a million times, and then take side roads and walkways at a moments notice that show you a new part of our wonderful little city. Free to me means being connected to the details, raw and unedited.  The action of pedaling connects me to the street which directly involves me in that immediate surrounding. I like that feeling.

Biking has so many nuisances.  Like downshifting as you approach a planned stop, using reflective street signs at night that sparkle with approaching headlights from behind, and the morning after sore butt.  The past weeks of biking have lead me to realize that there is a fine art to the whole deal.

Being on a bike is also scary.  For the first time on a bike, I was being very cautious.  Cautious with something that I was so familiar with, something I truly loved.  I was disheartened.  I guess its kinda like dragging out an old pair of high heels.  You love them and they have served you well.  But putting them on again and prancing around just doesn’t feel the same.  Stairs are harder to climb and any uneven surface could send you tumbling to the ground. I takes some time to get reacquainted.  The same goes with biking.

To ease some of my fears, I went to the local bike shop, Queen City Cycles.  Once in the shop, I felt like I had been teleported to New York City for some reason.  Everyone in there was covered in tattoos, the lingo was foreign,  and the way they dress is a mix of mod-meets-street: I had been submerged into a Springfield subculture. They are super knowledgeable about bike laws and trends, as well as super nice.  They helped me price how much to get my bike street safe (lights, reflectors, helmet) and customized (basket for carrying stuff) which topped off around $200.

My next step is to find a bike club, but not a serious spandex wearing one.  More along the lines of people who love crusing around, exploring, and just getting together via bikes!  If you're interested, lets brainstorm...

[] oh...and thnx for the tea []

i had the chance to hang out this past weekend with some great intellectual kind of folk. while we met at a stupid chain restaurant, the conversation was perfect. perfectly interesting and perfectly funny. i hope the evil combination of facebook/twitter won't steal these types of get togethers away from me. but my fears are slightly based in reality. for example, for the past few years i have sent out group texts that would look like this "hey friends, great night to walk around downtown...anyone up for moxie, dinner, people watching?" friends would text back and we all would meet up. it was that simple. now days, my simple silly little texts get logged with other messages coming in from networking sites on friends phones. my simple silly little text cannot compete with the big boys of twitter and facebook updates. who would want to go out when you can read about john jay and grant baldwin (love you both!) eating pancakes together??? does this make sense to anyone else?

i like analogies, so here is one: if we went to the grocery store and were only offered 4 choices, we could make a decision and leave (texting). however, one year later, the manager of the grocery store thought she should start offering 8 choices, just for novelty sake (myspace/facebook). during the following year, the manager of the store decided to let her 19 year old son take over. He not only offered the 8 previous grocery choices, but he then expanded the store to carry a line of uuber rad self adhesive tattoos (twitter). he became very successful with the tattoo gig, so successful, that he didn't have time to manage the grocery end of the sales. he made the quick desicion to drop the grocery end of the store all together, just to expand the tattoo empire even more. the community was mad. they needed groceries, even if they had only the 4 original choices. they stopped supporting his store and eventually the self adhesive tattoo gig was up.

i love technology. i don't want facebook, tweets and texting to die.  i just want all of us to be more intentional with our friendships.  thank you to all of you that have given me face time the past year, i truly appreciate it!